Happily Ever After

     Ariel found Eric, Beauty tamed her Beast, and Cinderella was rescued by her prince. In every fairy tale (the ones worth mentioning among us romantics), the prince meets the beautiful girl, falls in love with her immediately, rescues her from the bad guy, sweeps her off her feet and carries her into the sunset on his white steed. It’s romantic, and I fall for it every time. I don’t care if it has an original plot or an interesting twist. Those kind of movies are good, but what really matters is if the guy gets the girl. In most every romantic story, there are two people who are meant for each other. The whole goal of the story is for them to fall in love/get married/shack up together, and for the bulk of the movie they must overcome obstacles, whether that is initially hating each other or outward circumstances against them, before they finally get together. And they live happily ever after. The end. That’s all folks! 

     We are taught from a young age that “following your heart” to the right guy is the ultimate goal. He will complete your life, make you completely happy and you will never want for anything. I find it ironic that this is the same message we get from shampoo commercials: Follow your heart on down to Walmart and buy our product! You will never want for anything again...you will even find your man! All you need is perfect hair. Both Disney and Herbal Essences have the same thing in common: they are tapping into our desires to sell us their product.

Even she doesn't have hair like this.

     

     Each one of us has an innate desire to be loved. It can’t be just anyone; it has to be that special someone who we can share our deepest secrets with. Someone we can laugh with, cry with, goof around with. Someone who won’t judge us, who loves us for who we are, no matter what stupid thing we do or how bad our breath is in the morning. Someone who will fill that empty void in our hearts. That missing piece. Is there such a person, really?

     

     Is it possible for me to find a man who will never judge me? Who will never, after he comes home from work, forget to ask me how my day was? Who will never forget our anniversary? Who will never get frustrated when I’m emotional? Will he realize that sometimes I will simply want him to hold me? The divorce rate in this country is staggering.  According to Divorce Guide.com , the divorce rate in America for the first marriage is 41%, then 60% for the second marriage, and up to 73% for the third marriage. Why is divorce so common? Why don’t couples stay together? I believe that a  huge factor is the unrealistic expectations we place on our “true love.”

     

     We believed the entertainment industry--and that white-picket fence “American Dream”--when they told us that our Prince Charming will fulfill us and make us completely happy and content. Do you know anyone like that? Can you think of a couple who are so content in and of themselves that they are completely, totally, and incandescently happy? (If you got that Jane Austen reference, I congratulate you for being a fellow romance junkie.) Not even Elizabeth and Darcy, if the story continued on, would have been without their fall-outs. I doubt that their love completely overwhelmed their pride and prejudices. Why can’t we be perfect? Many of us women seem to believe in one way or another that once we are married, the differences of opinion, the temper, the stinky feet, and the X-Box addiction will all disappear in the wake of True Love, and we will sit with our husband in the firelight in front of his ridiculously large mansion as the violin music plays on and he lovingly says our married name over and over. If you haven’t seen Pride & Prejudice... You just need to. 

     

     That idealized person doesn’t exist. There may be a few out there who come close, but they’re human. Let me turn the tables on us girls: do you think that we will always be the perfect little wife that our husbands, or boyfriends, or future-husbands are expecting? Hah! I speak for myself when I say that I am neither the perfect homemaker Mrs. Cleaver, or Megan Fox. I have my own wants and desires, my own faults and insecurities. If I am my own person, why should I expect my man to fit into my Perfect Prince Charming mold? I wouldn’t take it very well if my guy expected me to run around town in a tight outfit, stilettos and pouty lips like the Victoria Secret models who aren’t required to have acting skills (*cough*Megan Fox*cough*). Don’t get me wrong, we need to have standards for the guys we choose. In fact, that’s very important. However, we need to realize--and I’m speaking to myself as well--that they are human. Fallible, forgetful, imperfect humans. Not only that, but they are men. I don’t think I’m alone when I say that men and women are different. 

     What are we going to do? We desire perfect love, but no one can give it to us. It’s not humanly possible. What we fail to realize is that it takes One who isn’t human--God, the One who made us--to have love at all. God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1). He breathed life into man, then created woman from his rib (Gen. 2). He created man and woman; He gave his first daughter Eve away to Adam in the first marriage. Marriage was His idea. Love didn’t originate from Adam and Eve. Love came from God, because God is love (1 John 4:16). The love God had, He shared with His children. John said in one of his letters:

     Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8

     God is love. We love because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). Not only is God love, but He loves us deeply and wants a relationship with us. He made us to love and be loved by Him. That void that we women try to fill with our prince charming? That space is meant to be filled by The Prince of Peace...Jesus Christ. The Ultimate Prince Charming, the only One who can ever love you for you, and me for me. He is the ultimate goal. He is our True Love. He refers to himself as the Bridegroom, and those who belong to him are the Bride of Christ. He loves us so much that he fulfills every area of our lives; he is our Groom (Rev. 19:7), our Father (Matt. 6:9), our brother (Mark 3:34), and our friend (John 15:15).

     This is radical. This is not what society teaches us; it’s weird. This is not in the latest Disney movie. I still struggle with this. I want to believe it, though, because I know that this is the truth. It’s hard to go against the tide of our culture. It’s not popular. Yet if it means joy, peace, fulfillment, and love, real love, then why on earth are we--am I--still following the Disney/MTV society? (They really aren’t much different anymore.) I want to live in Christ’s love. I want to allow Him to fill that void in my heart. I want to live for the Eternal Prince of Peace and True Love.

     This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 1John 4:9-10